Total Hip Replacement

Here I am, almost four weeks after having my right hip replaced.   Feeling a little guilty that I accepted the miracle of surgery and didn't find a way to fix it without cutting more of body off and replacing it.

One day, weeks before the surgery, as I was hobbling around a corner grocery store, I noticed a young man following me around and thought he either needed money or he had daddy issues.   He finally came up to me and said he could heal me and reached out his hand.   I thought we had just had an introduction and he was next going to tell me he was a body worker of some sort.

Nope, he grabbed my hand, wouldn't let go, and started to raise his voice to Jesus to heal me.   It is a very small grocery store and we were blocking the aisle.   There was a part of me that wanted him to be able to heal me.  He stopped for a moment and asked me if I was healed and I  told him no but I felt better and thanked him.   Not good enough--he grabbed me with both hands and since our Lord and Savior must have hearing problems began to talk to him louder.   Suddenly I felt hands on my shoulders.   I turned and looked behind me and a very large, muscular, filthy, shirtless, shoeless man, whose body odor was almost overpowered by the smell of alcohol on him, had joined in the effort.

Obviously not having the faith of a mustard seed, I silently offered my own prayer to hear the announcement, "Clean up crazies in aisle 2."

Inspired by each other and now competing for Jesus' attention, my healers voices grew in volume and range.   I waited for a small break removed their hands, said thank you, and limped as fast as I could to the cash register.   Behind me I could hear the argument started between the store employees and the underdressed gentleman over their inability to sell him anymore alcohol.

I keep wondering what the story would've been like if I had been healed in the grocery store.   Instead, I've gone through successful surgery, been told I'm ahead of the standard recovery, and have had four weeks with time to reflect, rehab, read, and watch too much news---which is another entry.

What happens to people who are miraculously healed without medical intervention?  Are they like Lottery winners--quickly losing their gains and going back to the life they had?

Maybe it wasn't the miracle I wanted but it was the miracle I needed.   I ultimately surrendered to it and am moving forward.

Namaste,

Dean

Time passes.

I'm still here.   I'm still making sense of my heart surgery and now I'm facing a total hip replacement.   I've talked to some people about my experiences flatlining but have basically kept it as a skeleton in my closet to avoid having my ego think I am too special.   Get this.   We all cast off our bodies at some point and all have some kind of experience when we do that.   There is nothing special about it.  

Now if I'd come back with some kind of super power...

So the inflammation in my body after heart surgery seemed to turn on arthritis in my hip and basically ate away all my cartilage there. Adjusting to the pain, I've distorted my posture and messed up my walk.

I was reluctant to accept the surgery because I believe that given enough time, my body could heal.   Time is the question.   I've elected to get my hip fixed now in order to move forward, straighten out my body, and get mobile again.  

The cool thing is that throughout the deterioration of my hip joint I've had to rethink my yoga, my body image, and who I will become.   Now I get to be a beginner again and start that process all over.   I've been given the gift of the "do over".  

Remember when you first discovered yoga and how damn good it felt?   I get to do that again.


Namaste,


Dean