Change

My current definition of yoga is "Everything changes, get over it."    Getting over it and accepting the changes in my body, my mind, my breath, my pain, my bliss, even what I think I know about yoga is my new normal.   That is where calming the fluctuations of the mind comes in--Chitta Vritti Narodha--Yoga Sutra 1:2.

"When are you going to get better?"   Someone asked me that.   It jolted me and made me question everything I was doing that showed this person I wasn't better.   I was completely put on the defensive.  I answered that I was improving slower than I liked but I was improving.  I then tried to walk away as normally as possible--not my new normal but some approximation of what I thought  I used to walk like.

Then I realized I'm asking myself the same question all the time.   I've fallen into the trap of using  every yoga practice as a reminder that I'm not well yet.  I have to walk my talk and learn to practice without frustration and judgment.

My self-judgment keeps me locked in my pain patterns and fighting against them.   If I  stay with my body, watching and accepting it as the good friend it is, I know I have the chance to influence the direction of change toward healing.

Betrayal and the Body

The body betrays us.   I see it happen all the time--people doing the best they can with diet, exercise, meditation and still the body seems to have a process of its own.  If you believe that the mind rules the body, then you feel the frustration that unconscious factors are completely running the show.

Even if you intellectually grasp that you aren't your body, that it is a neutral vehicle, and some day you will end this dream and lay this body down, you still feel betrayed.

That feeling of betrayal leads to a continuous loop of more anger at the body--more criticism, more judgement, more anger, more mistrust.

What is a conscious mind supposed to do?

Apologize.   Apologize to your body for the times you've abused it, not exercised it, not feed it well, not let it sleep, and especially how often you criticized it.

In my work with clients the universal response to looking in a mirror is to criticize what they see.  Common sense would dictate that if your body was your best friend, they would've dumped you years ago.   Maybe our bodies are so used to being criticized they just don't listen to us anymore.  

It is time to change your relationship.

Start by apologizing.  

Namaste,


Dean

Eating less than you can when you want to eat more!

I have this a helpful belief that our past is not our future.  

Affirm right now that you are willing to forgive your past eating behaviors and let them go.  You move forward choosing loving, life affirming, eating habits.

Now honestly we know that old habits are hard to let go of.   If I have the habit of eating too many pistachios when it is a rainy crappy weekend like last weekend, I have to find a way to sneak up on myself and think of a new way to under eat pistachios.   

Now, I believe in gateway foods.    I have them and I bet you have them too.   Those are the foods that contaminate my intention to eat less than I can!   It seems that once I give myself permission to eat them, I’ve opened the door, and it takes a divine act to get me to stop from repeating that behavior.   I wonder how quickly I can accept that Divine help!  Instead, I start with guilt, beat myself up awhile, then I reason, I give in, I start over----blah, blah, blah.  My latest thing is I tell myself my body is craving this for a reason that it must need something that pistachios provide.   Really?   Pretty creative.

I wonder what it would feel like to not have a habit of overeating pistachios or any other gateway food?

I’ve found that I have to treat certain foods differently (I stay away from those foods and tell my brain and body, it is just for awhile so I can get myself on track and in touch with what my body really needs---it likes that need thing.)  It allows me to delay my overeating behavior and gives me more choices.   My brain also goes happy crazy with more choices!  

Let’s talk about successful people who have lost weight and kept it off---one of the number one things that they have in common is that they don’t diet.   I find that so irritating somehow but the research is pretty solid.   Even if what they are eating I would call a diet, they call it healthy lifelong eating habits that include eating less and moving more. 

They no longer see themselves as people with an eating problem or a habit of overeating.   They aren’t trying to fix anything, especially with a diet, they are simply moving forward toward a healthier body.

What do they do when they want to eat or drink something they know they shouldn’t?   Well, everyone has their own strategy but a commonality is that they already have a plan in place for avoiding traps and then a plan for getting back on track if they blow it.   They simply think about it and plan ahead.  You know that planning is important because when you get a plan, your mind goes to work to implement it.   Your mind wants you to be successful and now it has the task of finding a way to make you successful.    When we plan to succeed, something inside us wants to lead us and get us to our goal. 

So we can ask ourselves how do we best handle a situation where we want to make a healthy food choice?   I wonder how powerful and successful we will feel when we have a plan to take back the power certain foods have over us.     I wonder how quickly we can learn that saying “yes” to our health and  “no” to certain foods shows our bodies that we truly love and care for them?

Breathe, meditate, do your yoga practice, eat less than you can and love yourself.

Namaste,

Dean

The Scale

So our group, Yoga and Weight Loss, starts this coming Tuesday!  What do we do about the scale?  Remember that we aren't doing weekly group weigh-ins.

We all know the problems with the scale---good days when you are losing and not-so-good when you aren't.  The worse thing is that you can be losing and the last thing to notice is the scale!   You and your clothes notice it.   Your friends and family notice it.   Yet, the damn scale shows a weight gain of .5 ounces!  Maddening to say the least.

Eventually the scale catches up to what is going on but the time lag can be a killer.

We have the option to just put the scale aside for awhile, focus on our yoga practice, meditation (short),  eating "less than we can", and trusting the process.

We will lose weight.

Namaste,

Dean

The "D" Word!

In our four week long Yoga and Weight Loss Group Training we aren't even going to mention the word "diet."   You pick your food plan.   We will reinforce each other that continuity is the key and that means going heavy on planning.  We will plan to succeed!

However, we are going to diet in one area.   We are going to go on a "guilt free diet."   I will be suggesting that if eating something makes you feel guilty that you stop eating it for four weeks.   We feel critical about ourselves way too much.   If we can observe and avoid the cycle of guilt and shame over specific foods for even four weeks we will give ourselves the space to make conscious, better choices and ultimately go easier on ourselves.   

If we don't meet our expectations and feel guilty we're going to breathe in and out and let that crap go.   It is just weighing us down.   We're practicing forgiving ourselves.   We will start by forgiving ourselves for gaining the weight we are now losing.

Namaste,

Dean